So much to write about, where to start?!
We close on our house in less than 3 weeks, I'm super excited and super nervous all rolled together. Add to that, we're flying home the very next day to spend a week in sunny San Diego (watch, now its going to rain the whole week). We come home, get fully moved in and out of our rental (a rant for another day), and quite possibly take to the road again. This time to Minnesota to pick up a puppy for the family... erm, Liam. Yeah, totally Liam's dog, lol. That's not set in stone just yet, but its an idea that is rapidly in the works.
As for me, I have so many irons in the fire right now, I'm practically spinning in circles. I can't go into detail on everything, but there will be pictures along the way.
I can say that Photina and I are doing the Present's Active Lifestyle Award Challenge, and I'm pretty stoked. Its the first step of many to my ultimate goal(s). Girls definitely do it better, right Photina?
I've also recently started training again; via correspondence at the moment, and in person again once we're moved and I can breathe again. I'm excited to be back in my field again, doing what I love, and also contributing to the family financially. I have the potential to earn so much, I just need to keep pushing and get it done.
I'll probably add to this post a little bit later; for now I have some research to get done, and my treadmill is begging for my attention. Cheers!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Big News, Big Hopes
And no, its not another baby. I know how you all think!
Big news, we put in an offer on a house and it was accepted! Still very very nervous; its a huge purchase and we have the inspection on Wednesday. Fingers crossed that everything goes well, it will be nice to have some place where our kids can call home; some place that is ours and ours alone.
In other news, I have an extraordinarily precocious 2 year old who is having a blast pushing every button his father and I collectively own, and to be quite frank is driving me insane. I love the little creep more than he will ever know, and I know I'll end this journey with a full head of gray hair, probably before I'm 30. It just amazes me how smart he is, how personable, and how stubborn. I love hearing him sing; he sings a modified version of "twinkle twinkle", and as silly as it is, its the most beautiful song that I've ever heard. He may be turning into a smelly, dirty little boy (and I say that with all the love in the world), but I cherish all of those mud and chocolate covered kisses and I secretly enjoy every disgusting bug that he brings to me, just to see me wrinkle my nose and say "ew".
His sister lights up my world just as much as her brother. She's beautiful, smart, and just... amazing. She is so close to walking, Sean and I think that she's more than capable just too stubborn to allow herself to do it. At least when he and I are looking. She can say "mama" "dada" and "up"; she waves bye-bye and thanks to her daddy has also learned to let you know exactly when she wants up (can't think of the words to exactly describe it, she basically crawls up to you, sits back on her haunches and reaches up and makes the bye-bye hands). She can climb up and down off the couches, the beds, the chairs. She bangs on windows, pulls the cat's tail, and was recently seen exploring the dog's mouth with her hands and face. What can I say, our dog gives pits a bad name. She laid there and let Brigid do her thing, and repaid her with plenty of kisses all over her face and in her mouth. Disgusting, but incredibly funny.
So in a nut shell, that's where we are. I have my frustrations with people, places, and things; but I'm trying incredibly hard to just let them go. They don't matter, nothing does except my family. They're my whole world, and I just need to focus. They deserve it <3
Big news, we put in an offer on a house and it was accepted! Still very very nervous; its a huge purchase and we have the inspection on Wednesday. Fingers crossed that everything goes well, it will be nice to have some place where our kids can call home; some place that is ours and ours alone.
In other news, I have an extraordinarily precocious 2 year old who is having a blast pushing every button his father and I collectively own, and to be quite frank is driving me insane. I love the little creep more than he will ever know, and I know I'll end this journey with a full head of gray hair, probably before I'm 30. It just amazes me how smart he is, how personable, and how stubborn. I love hearing him sing; he sings a modified version of "twinkle twinkle", and as silly as it is, its the most beautiful song that I've ever heard. He may be turning into a smelly, dirty little boy (and I say that with all the love in the world), but I cherish all of those mud and chocolate covered kisses and I secretly enjoy every disgusting bug that he brings to me, just to see me wrinkle my nose and say "ew".
His sister lights up my world just as much as her brother. She's beautiful, smart, and just... amazing. She is so close to walking, Sean and I think that she's more than capable just too stubborn to allow herself to do it. At least when he and I are looking. She can say "mama" "dada" and "up"; she waves bye-bye and thanks to her daddy has also learned to let you know exactly when she wants up (can't think of the words to exactly describe it, she basically crawls up to you, sits back on her haunches and reaches up and makes the bye-bye hands). She can climb up and down off the couches, the beds, the chairs. She bangs on windows, pulls the cat's tail, and was recently seen exploring the dog's mouth with her hands and face. What can I say, our dog gives pits a bad name. She laid there and let Brigid do her thing, and repaid her with plenty of kisses all over her face and in her mouth. Disgusting, but incredibly funny.
So in a nut shell, that's where we are. I have my frustrations with people, places, and things; but I'm trying incredibly hard to just let them go. They don't matter, nothing does except my family. They're my whole world, and I just need to focus. They deserve it <3
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Breaking my silence
It took a couple of months, but I was finally bit by the blogging bug again today. Just to sort things out visually instead of just in my head.
I came to a sort of epiphany today, and to be quite frank I'm overcome with a sense of apathy. I have little twinges of sadness at the thought of being replaced (more like being put as a firm second place), but the more I think of it, the more it really doesn't matter. Maybe I realized it was happening a while ago, and just now let myself realize it.
I no longer feel the need to impress anyone, to live life anyone's way but my own. I don't have a problem being alone (well, as alone as my children will let me be), and while I love company, I don't feel the need to seek it out. My door is always open to friends, and at this point I think that they would/should know that. I hope that that didn't come across as harsh as I think it did, but its the only way I could think to word it.
Going in another direction, I think my shopping days are over for a while. We found an amazing house today, and it sort of slapped me across the face that we should be moving in about 6 months. That means we have to save as much money as we possibly can as quickly as we can for inspection, appraisal, etc etc; and thats only if we can get away with financing closing costs! So I'm going to be sticking as close to home as possible, focusing on my kids, on my workouts, and on not spending money. Goodbye Starbucks, your services are no longer afforded :(
I came to a sort of epiphany today, and to be quite frank I'm overcome with a sense of apathy. I have little twinges of sadness at the thought of being replaced (more like being put as a firm second place), but the more I think of it, the more it really doesn't matter. Maybe I realized it was happening a while ago, and just now let myself realize it.
I no longer feel the need to impress anyone, to live life anyone's way but my own. I don't have a problem being alone (well, as alone as my children will let me be), and while I love company, I don't feel the need to seek it out. My door is always open to friends, and at this point I think that they would/should know that. I hope that that didn't come across as harsh as I think it did, but its the only way I could think to word it.
Going in another direction, I think my shopping days are over for a while. We found an amazing house today, and it sort of slapped me across the face that we should be moving in about 6 months. That means we have to save as much money as we possibly can as quickly as we can for inspection, appraisal, etc etc; and thats only if we can get away with financing closing costs! So I'm going to be sticking as close to home as possible, focusing on my kids, on my workouts, and on not spending money. Goodbye Starbucks, your services are no longer afforded :(
Saturday, March 26, 2011
MIA from a lot of things
I have been (and probably will be continuing to be) in hiding; I needed a bit of a break from social media. I'm fine, I promise, we had a really rough week in the Kelly household and we need some time to recouperate. If you don't find me on here or FB, that's why.
<3 LK
<3 LK
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Laying it out part dos
So, now that the trauma drama has been addressed (for the last darn time), here's what really matters in my life:
Sean took the Chief's exam this year for the first time (for LDO purposes) and.... passed AND made board (actually is board eligible, since he can't technically make board until next year). So, now he gets to put in his package and hopefully get commissioned next year. Even if he doesn't get picked up, I'm insanely proud of him. He's smart, he's hard working, and he's an honestly good man. I don't think I tell him that enough.
Brigid is crawling now, and thats bitter sweet for me. She's been doing the inch worm thing, and on Monday? I think was, she crawled half way down the hallway on her hands and knees. Soon, she'll be running just like her big brother <3 She's still super clingy to me, which while I can appreciate that she loves me and that she needs me... she needs to bond more with her dad. He put her to bed last night, and she didn't like it one bit. Have to admit, it hurt my heart a little, but I think I did ok. She's a little more cuddly than usual today, but she'll get better.
Speaking of my blonde haired ball of perpetual energy... he's amazing. He's speaking in full sentences, he's running, jumping, climbing, hiding (lol)... and is currently wearing my deoderant. Don't ask, it was either I put it on him properly or I have holes dug into my anti-stink stuff from his fingernails (and I can't guarantee that he wouldn't eat it either).
As for me, I'm doing much much better. I went through a bit of a rough patch. I admit, I was depressed. I wanted to do nothing but sleep (and B is a great excuse btw), I binge ate, I drank soda excessively, and alcohol every night. I didn't get drunk, but anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a drinker. So then Lent started, I gave up caffeine and alcohol. No soda, no coffee, and no booze for me. I'm thinking the booze might be gone for good, because I really don't miss it. Coffee, I miss. Very much. Though I have found a love for blueberry tea. Drizzle a little raw honey into it... mmmmmm bliss
So, yeah back to my little tropical depression. I made a choice. I decided that I needed help, and not of the chemical variety, so I joined Weight Watchers. Online only, I know that I can't commit to a meeting (especially since I don't have a vehicle here at home all the time). I lost 4 lbs the first week, maintained the second, and have lost another pound so far. We'll see on Sunday what this week did for me. So far, its just the kick in the butt that I needed. I actually got up this morning and worked out with Sean. We've been super lazy lately, and not done our morning routine. I'm hoping that this continues because as much as it hurts, it hurts so good.
I'm also starting my studying again today. Fitness and Nutrition, its on!!!
Sean took the Chief's exam this year for the first time (for LDO purposes) and.... passed AND made board (actually is board eligible, since he can't technically make board until next year). So, now he gets to put in his package and hopefully get commissioned next year. Even if he doesn't get picked up, I'm insanely proud of him. He's smart, he's hard working, and he's an honestly good man. I don't think I tell him that enough.
Brigid is crawling now, and thats bitter sweet for me. She's been doing the inch worm thing, and on Monday? I think was, she crawled half way down the hallway on her hands and knees. Soon, she'll be running just like her big brother <3 She's still super clingy to me, which while I can appreciate that she loves me and that she needs me... she needs to bond more with her dad. He put her to bed last night, and she didn't like it one bit. Have to admit, it hurt my heart a little, but I think I did ok. She's a little more cuddly than usual today, but she'll get better.
Speaking of my blonde haired ball of perpetual energy... he's amazing. He's speaking in full sentences, he's running, jumping, climbing, hiding (lol)... and is currently wearing my deoderant. Don't ask, it was either I put it on him properly or I have holes dug into my anti-stink stuff from his fingernails (and I can't guarantee that he wouldn't eat it either).
As for me, I'm doing much much better. I went through a bit of a rough patch. I admit, I was depressed. I wanted to do nothing but sleep (and B is a great excuse btw), I binge ate, I drank soda excessively, and alcohol every night. I didn't get drunk, but anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a drinker. So then Lent started, I gave up caffeine and alcohol. No soda, no coffee, and no booze for me. I'm thinking the booze might be gone for good, because I really don't miss it. Coffee, I miss. Very much. Though I have found a love for blueberry tea. Drizzle a little raw honey into it... mmmmmm bliss
So, yeah back to my little tropical depression. I made a choice. I decided that I needed help, and not of the chemical variety, so I joined Weight Watchers. Online only, I know that I can't commit to a meeting (especially since I don't have a vehicle here at home all the time). I lost 4 lbs the first week, maintained the second, and have lost another pound so far. We'll see on Sunday what this week did for me. So far, its just the kick in the butt that I needed. I actually got up this morning and worked out with Sean. We've been super lazy lately, and not done our morning routine. I'm hoping that this continues because as much as it hurts, it hurts so good.
I'm also starting my studying again today. Fitness and Nutrition, its on!!!
I'm going to lay it all out there
I'm too old for secrets. For drama. For absolute childish behavior.
I will continue to maintain my silence on certain things, and thats out of respect for a good friend. As much as I would love to make myself perfectly cut and dry clear, I'll have to find a way without going against that person's wishes.
So. Starting with the apparently hot topic: ASA
I left ASA because I felt that as a super mod the work and many many hours that I had spent on that site were for naught. I felt like a child having to walk on eggshells, never knowing if I was going to be in trouble.
Things as silly as adding a smiley, and then the next day the permission is gone and no one says why until I ask. So one day its ok, and the next its not? And then when I say something, its magically returned. Hmmm ok. I also left because of an attitude. I am not a child to be parented (and I dare someone to ever try to parent me in my mid-twenties), and I certainly do not take well to lectures. Unless you are a college professor whom I am PAYING to teach me something? Don't try it.
Now, I will say, that these two things specifically happened after I left ASA. However, the attitude has been there for some time. THAT is why I left. The events following simply confirmed my decision.
When asked, I will tell the truth. I am not encouraging a mass exodus; I am not spreading gossip about the site or its owner. To be very clear, I don't care that much. If you choose to stay a member of that site, I have no problems whatsoever. That is your decision, and I will not try to change your mind. I did what I needed to do, for myself, for my family, for my sanity (or whats left anyway)
I will never be a part of another "support site". I won't join one, and I won't create one. I have no intentions of being a part of a large group of specifically military spouses ever again; and yes that includes an FRG. I've survived how many deployments/FEX/schools without one? Yeah. No thanks. Not if I can help it. They can be a wonderful resource if thats your thing, but its not mine anymore.
Lastly, if I deleted you from FB (*gasp*) its because we don't talk. I don't understand why people get so upset over being removed from a silly social networking page, when they don't even talk to its owner! I don't do things out of maliciousness. Please, I don't have the time or the functioning non-sleep deprived brain cells to be malicious. I have a temper, yes. But its a flash in a pan kind of thing. Its instant, and its over. When it comes to Facebook, I have pictures of my family on there, its how I keep in contact with my close family and friends who are all over the world. Its not a popularity contest, and if thats how you see it then I'm really not sorry about having deleted you.
If thats all that you came to my blog for, you can stop reading now. Because the following posts will bore you.
I will continue to maintain my silence on certain things, and thats out of respect for a good friend. As much as I would love to make myself perfectly cut and dry clear, I'll have to find a way without going against that person's wishes.
So. Starting with the apparently hot topic: ASA
I left ASA because I felt that as a super mod the work and many many hours that I had spent on that site were for naught. I felt like a child having to walk on eggshells, never knowing if I was going to be in trouble.
Things as silly as adding a smiley, and then the next day the permission is gone and no one says why until I ask. So one day its ok, and the next its not? And then when I say something, its magically returned. Hmmm ok. I also left because of an attitude. I am not a child to be parented (and I dare someone to ever try to parent me in my mid-twenties), and I certainly do not take well to lectures. Unless you are a college professor whom I am PAYING to teach me something? Don't try it.
Now, I will say, that these two things specifically happened after I left ASA. However, the attitude has been there for some time. THAT is why I left. The events following simply confirmed my decision.
When asked, I will tell the truth. I am not encouraging a mass exodus; I am not spreading gossip about the site or its owner. To be very clear, I don't care that much. If you choose to stay a member of that site, I have no problems whatsoever. That is your decision, and I will not try to change your mind. I did what I needed to do, for myself, for my family, for my sanity (or whats left anyway)
I will never be a part of another "support site". I won't join one, and I won't create one. I have no intentions of being a part of a large group of specifically military spouses ever again; and yes that includes an FRG. I've survived how many deployments/FEX/schools without one? Yeah. No thanks. Not if I can help it. They can be a wonderful resource if thats your thing, but its not mine anymore.
Lastly, if I deleted you from FB (*gasp*) its because we don't talk. I don't understand why people get so upset over being removed from a silly social networking page, when they don't even talk to its owner! I don't do things out of maliciousness. Please, I don't have the time or the functioning non-sleep deprived brain cells to be malicious. I have a temper, yes. But its a flash in a pan kind of thing. Its instant, and its over. When it comes to Facebook, I have pictures of my family on there, its how I keep in contact with my close family and friends who are all over the world. Its not a popularity contest, and if thats how you see it then I'm really not sorry about having deleted you.
If thats all that you came to my blog for, you can stop reading now. Because the following posts will bore you.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
No. More. Drama.
There is a lot of drama floating around right now. Quite frankly, I have enough of my own that I try not to pay attention to other people's drama. My friends know that they can vent to me, and I will be a sounding board and a non judgmental receiver for when they need to get it out. However, do not mistake that for allowing myself to be drug into all of that drama. I stand firmly on the outskirts. If I have a problem with you, or if I feel that there is no need for you to be in my life; I have no contact with you. I'll delete you from Facebook, my cell phone, my blog, what have you. Its not out of maliciousness, its simply because I keep my circle tight and if we aren't friends then why should I keep you around? Whats the point?
On the same token, I want my friends to realize that if they are in my life its for a reason; and I do not judge you based on a Facebook status (or lack thereof). Sure, my friends might drive me a little crazy sometimes. I'm sure I drive them bonkers myself. But please don't sit there and wonder if I'm speaking ill of you, or if my statuses are aimed at you. I'm a rather straight forward person, and I try to make sure that I keep the lines of communication open. If you can't help but wonder, then please ask. Just know that I do not make a habit of making passive agressive statements (on the internet of all places) regarding people that I consider friends.
So. Recap. Key points in this mumbo jumbo?
A) If we are not friends, I will delete you from my life. Its that simple. I don't collect aquaintences and call them friends.
B) I do not address any negative statements on FB towards the people that I consider friends. If you can read the status, then its not about you.
C) If you ever wonder what I think of you, ASK ME. I'll tell you. You might not like what I have to say, but I won't hide it.
On the same token, I want my friends to realize that if they are in my life its for a reason; and I do not judge you based on a Facebook status (or lack thereof). Sure, my friends might drive me a little crazy sometimes. I'm sure I drive them bonkers myself. But please don't sit there and wonder if I'm speaking ill of you, or if my statuses are aimed at you. I'm a rather straight forward person, and I try to make sure that I keep the lines of communication open. If you can't help but wonder, then please ask. Just know that I do not make a habit of making passive agressive statements (on the internet of all places) regarding people that I consider friends.
So. Recap. Key points in this mumbo jumbo?
A) If we are not friends, I will delete you from my life. Its that simple. I don't collect aquaintences and call them friends.
B) I do not address any negative statements on FB towards the people that I consider friends. If you can read the status, then its not about you.
C) If you ever wonder what I think of you, ASK ME. I'll tell you. You might not like what I have to say, but I won't hide it.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
This one's long and complicated
So bare with me.
Yesterday was a very emotionally frustrating day. I discovered a lot of things about myself and about the situations/environments that I put myself in.
First, I realized that my opinion is no longer needed or wanted in certain places, and thats fine. It really is. But I'm not going to stick around where I'm not wanted, and my work is no longer appreciated. Call it growing pains, but I'm over it. I'm not mad (seriously, not mad, upset, or anything), I just don't have time for walking on eggshells. I've invested too much, I've made a lot of friends (some for only a short time, others for life), but I'm done feeling like I have to watch my step. I don't answer to anyone but my God, and I'm done feeling like I'm going to get in trouble for trying to do my job. So I'm good. I'm done.
Second, we lost a couple of guys on Monday from ACB-1. I did not personally know them. Sean did. Not well, but he did know them. The reason this gets to me as much as it does, they died during a field exercise. Something that my husband has done many times. Somehow a water truck rolled, and 2 of them died, one is in the hospital. This whole thing has hit me like a ton of bricks. They don't have to be in the middle of the war for something to happen. Just being in training to go to war can do it. If its their time, I guess its their time.
What this made me realize is that nothing is as important as family. Not support sites, not tv shows, not computer games, not petty drama. I owe my husband and my children my full attention, effort, and energy. If that upsets someone, then so be it. My former boss (and at one time client) called it a BFO moment. "Blinding Flash of the Obvious". She even named her company that. She's a smart lady. Here's to you TB!
Lastly, I'm feeling torn in a million directions. I need to get back to CA to see my family. My kids need to see their grandparents. Even Sean says we need to go back for a visit. But how to do that and still save to buy a house? I feel like I have to choose; do whats in the best interest for my family in the long term, or satisfy this selfish need to see my parents. So now I get to save money like crazy, and hope that somehow its enough to do both. If not, I guess we wait another year for something. Its just really hard to choose.
Yesterday was a very emotionally frustrating day. I discovered a lot of things about myself and about the situations/environments that I put myself in.
First, I realized that my opinion is no longer needed or wanted in certain places, and thats fine. It really is. But I'm not going to stick around where I'm not wanted, and my work is no longer appreciated. Call it growing pains, but I'm over it. I'm not mad (seriously, not mad, upset, or anything), I just don't have time for walking on eggshells. I've invested too much, I've made a lot of friends (some for only a short time, others for life), but I'm done feeling like I have to watch my step. I don't answer to anyone but my God, and I'm done feeling like I'm going to get in trouble for trying to do my job. So I'm good. I'm done.
Second, we lost a couple of guys on Monday from ACB-1. I did not personally know them. Sean did. Not well, but he did know them. The reason this gets to me as much as it does, they died during a field exercise. Something that my husband has done many times. Somehow a water truck rolled, and 2 of them died, one is in the hospital. This whole thing has hit me like a ton of bricks. They don't have to be in the middle of the war for something to happen. Just being in training to go to war can do it. If its their time, I guess its their time.
What this made me realize is that nothing is as important as family. Not support sites, not tv shows, not computer games, not petty drama. I owe my husband and my children my full attention, effort, and energy. If that upsets someone, then so be it. My former boss (and at one time client) called it a BFO moment. "Blinding Flash of the Obvious". She even named her company that. She's a smart lady. Here's to you TB!
Lastly, I'm feeling torn in a million directions. I need to get back to CA to see my family. My kids need to see their grandparents. Even Sean says we need to go back for a visit. But how to do that and still save to buy a house? I feel like I have to choose; do whats in the best interest for my family in the long term, or satisfy this selfish need to see my parents. So now I get to save money like crazy, and hope that somehow its enough to do both. If not, I guess we wait another year for something. Its just really hard to choose.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Much better already
Yesterday just started off on the wrong foot. I can't explain it, but I pretty much knew from the get go that something was going to blow. That something was probably going to be the cap that I hold loosely over my temper. The things that I was ranting about in yesterday's blog; yes they irk me regularly. But I'm usually able to bottle up my feelings about them, and then let them go with the bath water. Not my life, and there's a nifty little "hide" button on Facebook. Yesterday... yeah.
I ended the day by yelling and then pleading with Sean's mom to please stand up for herself and for her children. She's allowing her second youngest daughter to stay in her home with her 30 year old boyfriend. Yes I think he's a pedophile. He's been "with" her since she was 16. Story is, he drinks profusely, and recently had his hands on their mother. I don't care if its just a "pat on the rear" its inappropriate and not something that a) Julie should put up with, or b) something that the younger kids need to be exposed to.
It goes without saying that had Siobhan been my daughter, I would have taken the risk of losing any "friendship" or positive relationship with her, in order to make sure that I did my damn best to ensure her safety. That would have involved refusing to allow her to date or be with men who are twice her age. If he really loved her, he would have waited until she was 18 and legal. But I digress. Siobhan has made her bed, and now she can sleep in it. I really hope she doesn't end up hurt. I really really do. But now this man is in the home with the younger kids, and thats just not kosher. That is Julie's home that she built with Larry for their family; she doesn't need nor deserve to be made uncomfortable by this man. I really don't think Larry would appreciate his wife or his house being disrespected.
That situation aside, I'm really looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Celebrating Mardi Gras a few days early with the Sanson clan, and then starting Lent early on Monday. Yes, I know it technically starts on Wed, but since I'm already being a bad Catholic and not taking my kids to church on Ash Wednesday... I don't think God is going to mind if I start my period of reflection, sacrifice, and inward cleansing a few days early.
The vices that I'm tackling this year? Caffeine (as in coffee and soda) and alcohol. They are doing a number on me both inside and out, and I know I'm going to need some divine intervention to help me succeed. I want to be healthy for my kids, for my husband, and for myself. I have this feeling that I'm ultimately putting myself into an early jittery grave with the amount of coffee I consume on a daily basis. Easily a pot a day. No bueno!
I ended the day by yelling and then pleading with Sean's mom to please stand up for herself and for her children. She's allowing her second youngest daughter to stay in her home with her 30 year old boyfriend. Yes I think he's a pedophile. He's been "with" her since she was 16. Story is, he drinks profusely, and recently had his hands on their mother. I don't care if its just a "pat on the rear" its inappropriate and not something that a) Julie should put up with, or b) something that the younger kids need to be exposed to.
It goes without saying that had Siobhan been my daughter, I would have taken the risk of losing any "friendship" or positive relationship with her, in order to make sure that I did my damn best to ensure her safety. That would have involved refusing to allow her to date or be with men who are twice her age. If he really loved her, he would have waited until she was 18 and legal. But I digress. Siobhan has made her bed, and now she can sleep in it. I really hope she doesn't end up hurt. I really really do. But now this man is in the home with the younger kids, and thats just not kosher. That is Julie's home that she built with Larry for their family; she doesn't need nor deserve to be made uncomfortable by this man. I really don't think Larry would appreciate his wife or his house being disrespected.
That situation aside, I'm really looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Celebrating Mardi Gras a few days early with the Sanson clan, and then starting Lent early on Monday. Yes, I know it technically starts on Wed, but since I'm already being a bad Catholic and not taking my kids to church on Ash Wednesday... I don't think God is going to mind if I start my period of reflection, sacrifice, and inward cleansing a few days early.
The vices that I'm tackling this year? Caffeine (as in coffee and soda) and alcohol. They are doing a number on me both inside and out, and I know I'm going to need some divine intervention to help me succeed. I want to be healthy for my kids, for my husband, and for myself. I have this feeling that I'm ultimately putting myself into an early jittery grave with the amount of coffee I consume on a daily basis. Easily a pot a day. No bueno!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Just flitting around
I'm still around, just neglectful =)
Things have been crazy these past few weeks, and its taken a bit but we're finally working into a schedule. Lexi hangs out with us M-F while her mom is in the police academy (which I must add is pretty freaking awesome), and her dad is AD. Its kind of a mad house at times, but really the second toddler doesn't add that much to the already hectic environment. Having her here also is a learning experience for Liam, he has to share (gasp!), he has to play nice (double gasp!), and he's learning social skills. Lexi is learning the same, but is also increasing her vocabulary. Win win? I think so.
We'll also be starting preschool lessons when Lexi comes back from her visit with Grandma, and we've already started potty training. Liam needed a refresher course, and Lexi needed (needs) to learn to be comfortable around the toilet. Its slow going, but the tortoise won the race, not the rabbit.
Sean and I have been discussing our next and probably last baby. Having just turned 30, he doesn't want to be in his fifties when our kids graduate from highschool. That gives us 2 years from now to have our last. It really makes me sad, I know I'm not done, and I don't know that I'd be done after 3 kids either. We originally wanted 6, then decided on 4 after watching his mom struggle and not able to provide for her brood. My solution? Pray for twins. Seriously. Obviously whatever is meant to happen is what will happen; I most undoubtedly believe in a higher power, and am not arrogant enough to think that its all up to me. But... I can at least read through the old wive's tales and make sure that I do everything that I can to help things along. I know it sounds silly, and it does sound silly even in my head. But I think that if I were to go through a twin pregnancy after the two singles that I've already had... I'd be a lot more accepting of his wishes to stop.
I still have a bit of time, B is only 7 months tomorrow and I'm thinking that I'd like to enjoy this entire year without being pregnant. So deployment and all that willing, maybe we can start trying in January. We'll see. This is just me thinking again, and is very unofficial.
Off the baby subject, tax season has come again, and with the exception of one small student loan we are now debt free. The SL we're keeping open since a) its an incredibly low intrest rate, and b) its just been rehabilitated and he needs to show that he's reliable at paying it monthly. We still have to go back and ammend a couple years' taxes, but that should even out and not involve us paying or receiving anything. Which is 100% fine by me. I feel great knowing that we're in a better position to take care of our family. We're not rolling in dough by any stretch of the imagination, but our kids don't have to go without, we can hopefully buy a house this year, and I've got my fingers crossed for a trip to see my family. I can't wait for them to meet my princess and see how big our little boy has gotten. I miss them. They're crazy, obnoxious sometimes, but they're family and they mean a lot to me.
But before I start getting all sappy, I'm going to go vacuum and steam clean every stinking cloth surface in my home. 3 kids with snotty noses = slimey trails and germs e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Gross.
Things have been crazy these past few weeks, and its taken a bit but we're finally working into a schedule. Lexi hangs out with us M-F while her mom is in the police academy (which I must add is pretty freaking awesome), and her dad is AD. Its kind of a mad house at times, but really the second toddler doesn't add that much to the already hectic environment. Having her here also is a learning experience for Liam, he has to share (gasp!), he has to play nice (double gasp!), and he's learning social skills. Lexi is learning the same, but is also increasing her vocabulary. Win win? I think so.
We'll also be starting preschool lessons when Lexi comes back from her visit with Grandma, and we've already started potty training. Liam needed a refresher course, and Lexi needed (needs) to learn to be comfortable around the toilet. Its slow going, but the tortoise won the race, not the rabbit.
Sean and I have been discussing our next and probably last baby. Having just turned 30, he doesn't want to be in his fifties when our kids graduate from highschool. That gives us 2 years from now to have our last. It really makes me sad, I know I'm not done, and I don't know that I'd be done after 3 kids either. We originally wanted 6, then decided on 4 after watching his mom struggle and not able to provide for her brood. My solution? Pray for twins. Seriously. Obviously whatever is meant to happen is what will happen; I most undoubtedly believe in a higher power, and am not arrogant enough to think that its all up to me. But... I can at least read through the old wive's tales and make sure that I do everything that I can to help things along. I know it sounds silly, and it does sound silly even in my head. But I think that if I were to go through a twin pregnancy after the two singles that I've already had... I'd be a lot more accepting of his wishes to stop.
I still have a bit of time, B is only 7 months tomorrow and I'm thinking that I'd like to enjoy this entire year without being pregnant. So deployment and all that willing, maybe we can start trying in January. We'll see. This is just me thinking again, and is very unofficial.
Off the baby subject, tax season has come again, and with the exception of one small student loan we are now debt free. The SL we're keeping open since a) its an incredibly low intrest rate, and b) its just been rehabilitated and he needs to show that he's reliable at paying it monthly. We still have to go back and ammend a couple years' taxes, but that should even out and not involve us paying or receiving anything. Which is 100% fine by me. I feel great knowing that we're in a better position to take care of our family. We're not rolling in dough by any stretch of the imagination, but our kids don't have to go without, we can hopefully buy a house this year, and I've got my fingers crossed for a trip to see my family. I can't wait for them to meet my princess and see how big our little boy has gotten. I miss them. They're crazy, obnoxious sometimes, but they're family and they mean a lot to me.
But before I start getting all sappy, I'm going to go vacuum and steam clean every stinking cloth surface in my home. 3 kids with snotty noses = slimey trails and germs e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Gross.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I'm over it.
Ok, I'm actually over a lot of things, but two really stand out.
I'm over this command. It makes me mad just thinking about them. Who cares if my husband is a coded welder? If he wanted to sit and weld all day he could have stayed on the ship. Or with the Seabees. They're just wasting their time and his, and flipping a huge middle finger to the kids and I for all that time spent apart. For no reason. And he got a P eval out of it, because he wasn't observed for damn near a year. Thanks RON2. I'm now counting down to shore duty. Jerks.
The other thing I'm over, is trying to rebuild a relationship in which I feel like I get put down quite often. I don't think this person means to do it, which kind of makes it worse? I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'm not even mad anymore. Sad kind of, because I thought we were getting somewhere positive again. I guess thats what happens when you grow up and move on. Maybe it makes it easier for them to deal with the way things are, by being snarky. Instant defense. Whatever. Enjoy your family. I've learned; I'm an afterthought. I should have expected it.
I'm over this command. It makes me mad just thinking about them. Who cares if my husband is a coded welder? If he wanted to sit and weld all day he could have stayed on the ship. Or with the Seabees. They're just wasting their time and his, and flipping a huge middle finger to the kids and I for all that time spent apart. For no reason. And he got a P eval out of it, because he wasn't observed for damn near a year. Thanks RON2. I'm now counting down to shore duty. Jerks.
The other thing I'm over, is trying to rebuild a relationship in which I feel like I get put down quite often. I don't think this person means to do it, which kind of makes it worse? I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'm not even mad anymore. Sad kind of, because I thought we were getting somewhere positive again. I guess thats what happens when you grow up and move on. Maybe it makes it easier for them to deal with the way things are, by being snarky. Instant defense. Whatever. Enjoy your family. I've learned; I'm an afterthought. I should have expected it.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Catching Up
The whole wide world knows that yesterday was Liam's surgery. He had a meatotomy to correct meatal stenosis. Basically, the hole in his penis was closing up. Has been since his circumcision at birth. So I've been a giant mental wreck for longer than I realized, and had so much stress that most of it I wasn't even aware of. When it was all over yesterday, I seriously felt like the weight of the world had been lifted. I can't even really explain it!
So now, I'm enjoying life and playing catch up. I want to read my friends' blogs, I want to start writing letters again. I miss my passion for the written word.
I feel like I can focus again, on my workouts, on my kids, on living life and enjoying it. Who would have thought that such a little thing (his procedure being over) would have such a huge effect?
So many people sent prayers and positive thoughts yesterday and the day before; it might sound weird, but we definitely felt them. Liam was calm going in, I didn't freak out. Heck I think I shed one tear when I kissed him and handed him off to the nurse. Sean was able to take the day off and be there with us. I'm so glad he was there for both Liam and I.
I really feel good again knowing that there isn't anything bad looming up. Other than deployment of course, but thats a whole other thing, and not exactly bad. That's just life.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Debt Free is the Way to Be!
My mommy always taught me never to discuss finances with anyone other than my husband or a professional (banker-type), but I have to get it out somewhere.
We filed our taxes last night, and in 11 days we will be (for all intents and purposes) DEBT FREE. No more car payment. No more loan. No more credit cards. We'll still have his student loans, but really, $60 a month @ 2% interest... yeah I think we can handle that.
It just feels so good to be able to build a savings account again, to put money into our kids' college funds, and GASP! Buy a HOUSE!!! Yippee!
We've worked for 4 years for this, and its finally coming together! Now we're on a budget because we want to be, because we want to save money; not because we're broke and living paycheck to paycheck. This feels right. This feels good :)
We filed our taxes last night, and in 11 days we will be (for all intents and purposes) DEBT FREE. No more car payment. No more loan. No more credit cards. We'll still have his student loans, but really, $60 a month @ 2% interest... yeah I think we can handle that.
It just feels so good to be able to build a savings account again, to put money into our kids' college funds, and GASP! Buy a HOUSE!!! Yippee!
We've worked for 4 years for this, and its finally coming together! Now we're on a budget because we want to be, because we want to save money; not because we're broke and living paycheck to paycheck. This feels right. This feels good :)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
It is what it is
I love how people sit there and bitch moan and complain about being an afterthought to their friends; yet when you try to be that friend who thinks about them you get ignored yourself. Did that sentence even make sense?
For real, I feel like I'm wasting my time. If you don't like being the afterthought, don't make your friends an afterthought, kay? I think I'm going to take a break from FB. People can contact me on my cell if they really want to. FB makes it too easy to half ass a friendship.
Not to sound totally bitchy, but I think I'm just going to stick with my close circle for a while. I feel like theres a lot of judgment from other places, and even though that could very well just be in my head I just want to get a handle on things and get my life in order. If I can be satisfied with myself, then I won't care quite so much about what other people think. I guess I'm also getting a little annoyed when I start a project, then someone else will start one very similar to mine, and a whole bunch of people jump on the other person's bandwagon saying "omg so awesome that you're doing that, you're so great, etc etc". I'm really not looking for that kind of recognition for myself, but its really frustrating nonetheless! (and no I'm not upset at all with the people who start the projects that are like mine, more irritated with the audience I guess you'd call it?)
In other news I suppose, B had her follow up appointment yesterday and was given the tentative diagnosis of croup, but was also given an Albuterol inhaler "just in case". Kind of scary knowing that my daughter has an inhaler, but I'm hoping to never have to use it.
Liam is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, and yes I'm still wicked nervous. Minor procedure or not, they're putting him under and I cannot wait until its over and he's up and playing again.
Also starting on Monday, I get to start watching Lexi :) I'm excited for it because I know she and Liam need the interaction on a regular basis, and I think its going to be incredibly good for them. She's such a sweet girl too, even holds my hand out in public (when her mom is right there, lol). Starting the Monday after Liam's surgery, I'm going to start doing preschool lessons with the kids and *hopefully* focusing on potty training for both kids. We'll see how surgery and recovery goes first though.
For real, I feel like I'm wasting my time. If you don't like being the afterthought, don't make your friends an afterthought, kay? I think I'm going to take a break from FB. People can contact me on my cell if they really want to. FB makes it too easy to half ass a friendship.
Not to sound totally bitchy, but I think I'm just going to stick with my close circle for a while. I feel like theres a lot of judgment from other places, and even though that could very well just be in my head I just want to get a handle on things and get my life in order. If I can be satisfied with myself, then I won't care quite so much about what other people think. I guess I'm also getting a little annoyed when I start a project, then someone else will start one very similar to mine, and a whole bunch of people jump on the other person's bandwagon saying "omg so awesome that you're doing that, you're so great, etc etc". I'm really not looking for that kind of recognition for myself, but its really frustrating nonetheless! (and no I'm not upset at all with the people who start the projects that are like mine, more irritated with the audience I guess you'd call it?)
In other news I suppose, B had her follow up appointment yesterday and was given the tentative diagnosis of croup, but was also given an Albuterol inhaler "just in case". Kind of scary knowing that my daughter has an inhaler, but I'm hoping to never have to use it.
Liam is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, and yes I'm still wicked nervous. Minor procedure or not, they're putting him under and I cannot wait until its over and he's up and playing again.
Also starting on Monday, I get to start watching Lexi :) I'm excited for it because I know she and Liam need the interaction on a regular basis, and I think its going to be incredibly good for them. She's such a sweet girl too, even holds my hand out in public (when her mom is right there, lol). Starting the Monday after Liam's surgery, I'm going to start doing preschool lessons with the kids and *hopefully* focusing on potty training for both kids. We'll see how surgery and recovery goes first though.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Coffee: Nectar of the Gods
I most certainly agree with that statement! I don't know how I would function without my morning Java; especially on days like today (the ironic moment of the morning: as I was typing that sentence, a notification popped up on my desktop for a Java update. Love how the universe works sometimes!).
Last night was brutal. Plain and simple. B is/was so congested, so miserable, that in order to allow my husband some sleep (you know, since he's the one at work all day) I gave her some Tylenol and we slept on the couch from about 2am onward. "Slept" is being rather generous though, considering the circumstances. Her fever broke around 5, she tossed and turned a bit in my arms until around 7. Thats when Liam and Sean both woke up and came out.
For someone who got no rest last night, she sure is perky! If it weren't for the huge bags under her eyes and runny nose, I think even I would doubt that last night happened the way it did. I've got my fingers crossed that she'll take a nap when Liam does.... that is if he naps at all : /
As for Liam, he's bright eyed, bushy tailed, and up to no good. Its barely 9 am, he's already swung the magnadoodle at my head, flicked his sister in the cheek, chased the cat, and jumped on the dog.
Good thing he's cute, because its going to be a long day.
Last night was brutal. Plain and simple. B is/was so congested, so miserable, that in order to allow my husband some sleep (you know, since he's the one at work all day) I gave her some Tylenol and we slept on the couch from about 2am onward. "Slept" is being rather generous though, considering the circumstances. Her fever broke around 5, she tossed and turned a bit in my arms until around 7. Thats when Liam and Sean both woke up and came out.
For someone who got no rest last night, she sure is perky! If it weren't for the huge bags under her eyes and runny nose, I think even I would doubt that last night happened the way it did. I've got my fingers crossed that she'll take a nap when Liam does.... that is if he naps at all : /
As for Liam, he's bright eyed, bushy tailed, and up to no good. Its barely 9 am, he's already swung the magnadoodle at my head, flicked his sister in the cheek, chased the cat, and jumped on the dog.
Good thing he's cute, because its going to be a long day.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture
So I'd like to personally hang the bastard responsible for teaching my children how to use it as a weapon!
Liam is teething (again) and this time its a battle with his molars. One will manage to break through, and then his gums say "Oh hell no" and suck it back under. Repeat other side. Poor guy is miserable, moans and groans in his "sleep", and to top it off I can't give him Motrin until after his surgery next week. We have infant's Tylenol on hand, but I really don't like giving Tylenol on a regular basis.
Then, our little princess. The Diva of the family (and yes I meant to capitalize that). Wants to be held 100% of the time... by me. She wants to nurse all night and all day, and when the nipple comes out of her mouth she screams. Bad enough to deal with that during the day, but at night its truly brutal. I don't think that there is enough coffee to make this headache go away either.
Anywho, thats enough complaining from me. Time to suck it up, take a motrin, and get on with my day.
I'm giving myself a pep talk so that I'll actually get my workout done today (between loads of laundry and batches of granola bars); and renewing my affirmation to keep up with my food journal. Time to practice what I preach!
20 lbs to go, only 14 weeks to do it.
Liam is teething (again) and this time its a battle with his molars. One will manage to break through, and then his gums say "Oh hell no" and suck it back under. Repeat other side. Poor guy is miserable, moans and groans in his "sleep", and to top it off I can't give him Motrin until after his surgery next week. We have infant's Tylenol on hand, but I really don't like giving Tylenol on a regular basis.
Then, our little princess. The Diva of the family (and yes I meant to capitalize that). Wants to be held 100% of the time... by me. She wants to nurse all night and all day, and when the nipple comes out of her mouth she screams. Bad enough to deal with that during the day, but at night its truly brutal. I don't think that there is enough coffee to make this headache go away either.
Anywho, thats enough complaining from me. Time to suck it up, take a motrin, and get on with my day.
I'm giving myself a pep talk so that I'll actually get my workout done today (between loads of laundry and batches of granola bars); and renewing my affirmation to keep up with my food journal. Time to practice what I preach!
20 lbs to go, only 14 weeks to do it.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Denial.
Its a river in Egypt, not an acceptable state of being.
Time for me to man up, suck it up, and quit making excuses.
Yes, I have a problem with food. My problem is that I like to eat too much of it! I stress eat, and then I belittle myself for doing it, which causes me to eat more. I've overcome this before, and I will overcome it again.
I will no longer be stuck on this plateau; I will no longer be lazy, or make excuses for my behavior. I know how to fix this. I've made a living helping others fix this. So right now my client is myself. I cannot expect to be accountable to anyone other than myself, I cannot blame anyone other than myself, and I cannot expect anyone else to fix my problem.
I will lose 5 lbs in the next 2 weeks. My overall goal isn't about weight, its about feeling and looking good. I do have 5 lbs to lose however (more like 5x4, but whatever) so buckling down and losing those first 5 is a good step.
I will take my multi vitamin every day.
I will get at least 20 minutes of treadmill time in per day.
I will lift 3 days a week, run 3 days a week, and take one day off for a true rest day.
I will increase my protein consumption, decrease my carb and fat consumption.
I will take care of myself, both inside and out.
I will take some time and turn inwards, so that I can be around long enough to take care of others.
Time for me to man up, suck it up, and quit making excuses.
Yes, I have a problem with food. My problem is that I like to eat too much of it! I stress eat, and then I belittle myself for doing it, which causes me to eat more. I've overcome this before, and I will overcome it again.
I will no longer be stuck on this plateau; I will no longer be lazy, or make excuses for my behavior. I know how to fix this. I've made a living helping others fix this. So right now my client is myself. I cannot expect to be accountable to anyone other than myself, I cannot blame anyone other than myself, and I cannot expect anyone else to fix my problem.
I will lose 5 lbs in the next 2 weeks. My overall goal isn't about weight, its about feeling and looking good. I do have 5 lbs to lose however (more like 5x4, but whatever) so buckling down and losing those first 5 is a good step.
I will take my multi vitamin every day.
I will get at least 20 minutes of treadmill time in per day.
I will lift 3 days a week, run 3 days a week, and take one day off for a true rest day.
I will increase my protein consumption, decrease my carb and fat consumption.
I will take care of myself, both inside and out.
I will take some time and turn inwards, so that I can be around long enough to take care of others.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Independence, Confidence, and Seeking Approval
I've always been an independent person. Always. Somehow, being almost 26 years old with 2 kids, a husband, and a cross country move under my belt; I find myself constantly seeking others' approval. Even from people that I have never met. What the crap?
I'm a good mother, I'm a great wife, and I'm a decent human being. Those are 3 facts that I am sure of. So why do I care so much about how others see me? I try not to complain about life, more specifically the stressful things in my life; private matters should stay private. But I admit, there's a green monster inside that wants the recognition from other people. Some dark part of me wants other people to say "hey, you work hard, you do a good job, and you deserve a break from time to time". But I feel like I don't get that, and I won't get that because I don't make my a lot of my personal business public.
I can't say that from here on out I'm not going to seek others' approval, but I can say that its time to stifle that green monster, and maybe she'll shrink back into the shadows where she belongs.
Its time for my confidence in myself to reappear, and grow, and help set an example for my son and my daughter. If I'm going to be successful its going to be on my own merits, my accomplishments; and not on the ata-boys that I don't see myself ever getting.
I'm going to tap the well of self-reliance that I've always had deep down inside, and I'm going to ultimately drown that green monster along with the creatures named "self doubt", "self pity", and most importantly "I can't". Damn it, I can and I will.
On a much more positive note, for those of you who've been keeping up with my ups and downs; my mom and I have had some amazingly positive conversations, and I'm very very hopeful that we're getting back a relationship that is better and stronger than it was before. Love you Mom!
I'm a good mother, I'm a great wife, and I'm a decent human being. Those are 3 facts that I am sure of. So why do I care so much about how others see me? I try not to complain about life, more specifically the stressful things in my life; private matters should stay private. But I admit, there's a green monster inside that wants the recognition from other people. Some dark part of me wants other people to say "hey, you work hard, you do a good job, and you deserve a break from time to time". But I feel like I don't get that, and I won't get that because I don't make my a lot of my personal business public.
I can't say that from here on out I'm not going to seek others' approval, but I can say that its time to stifle that green monster, and maybe she'll shrink back into the shadows where she belongs.
Its time for my confidence in myself to reappear, and grow, and help set an example for my son and my daughter. If I'm going to be successful its going to be on my own merits, my accomplishments; and not on the ata-boys that I don't see myself ever getting.
I'm going to tap the well of self-reliance that I've always had deep down inside, and I'm going to ultimately drown that green monster along with the creatures named "self doubt", "self pity", and most importantly "I can't". Damn it, I can and I will.
On a much more positive note, for those of you who've been keeping up with my ups and downs; my mom and I have had some amazingly positive conversations, and I'm very very hopeful that we're getting back a relationship that is better and stronger than it was before. Love you Mom!
Monday, January 10, 2011
For lack of a witty title: Here's an update
So many things are up in the air now. I hate this feeling of not knowing which way is up. Hopefully he can talk to his higher-ups today and get us some answers and some direction. Chances are he's not going to be happy with the answers he gets, but to some degree at least we'll know whats up. Its frustrating knowing that he's not your average sailor, he wants to do his part, to be part of a combat group; but because no one else has certain skills, he's possibly going to be left behind. Its just as insulting as it is complimentary. Whatever happens, I hope he aces his Chief's exam, gets picked up for LDO, and gets a command that he's satisfied with. As it stands right now, he's not happy and that sucks.
In other news, mom still isn't talking to me. I was getting random text messages, now its just silence. I gave her Liam's surgery date, and there was no response. I guess I just need to let it go. Doesn't look like we're ever going to get our relationship back, and that really makes me sad. I was wanting to plan my "secret" trip to CA, to visit and to clear out all of my belongings that are still hanging around her house; now I'm almost wondering if it would just be better to tell her to donate the lot and save the money on the trip. I miss everyone terribly, but I don't see the point if its just going to be miserable.
On the positive side, I was finally able to finish my PT cert. I'm finally legal to train again and start my business up the right way. I still have that monster business plan to complete, along with all of my other legal crud; AND I have 2 more certs to finish so that I can hold the "Elite Trainer" title from ISSA. Once those are done, its back to the traditional schools to finish my BS so that I can work on achieving "Master Trainer" status. I'm still hoping to eventually make a living off of writing, so I'm getting my practice in now by keeping the new blog (Raising My Family - Naturally), my fitness forum (the Fit Military Family - www.milfitfamily.forumotion.com), and hopefully some more writing projects in the future. For now I'm just trying to keep my sanity while cuddling my babies, loving my husband, and taking each day one step at a time.
In other news, mom still isn't talking to me. I was getting random text messages, now its just silence. I gave her Liam's surgery date, and there was no response. I guess I just need to let it go. Doesn't look like we're ever going to get our relationship back, and that really makes me sad. I was wanting to plan my "secret" trip to CA, to visit and to clear out all of my belongings that are still hanging around her house; now I'm almost wondering if it would just be better to tell her to donate the lot and save the money on the trip. I miss everyone terribly, but I don't see the point if its just going to be miserable.
On the positive side, I was finally able to finish my PT cert. I'm finally legal to train again and start my business up the right way. I still have that monster business plan to complete, along with all of my other legal crud; AND I have 2 more certs to finish so that I can hold the "Elite Trainer" title from ISSA. Once those are done, its back to the traditional schools to finish my BS so that I can work on achieving "Master Trainer" status. I'm still hoping to eventually make a living off of writing, so I'm getting my practice in now by keeping the new blog (Raising My Family - Naturally), my fitness forum (the Fit Military Family - www.milfitfamily.forumotion.com), and hopefully some more writing projects in the future. For now I'm just trying to keep my sanity while cuddling my babies, loving my husband, and taking each day one step at a time.
Friday, January 7, 2011
New Projects for the New Year
Inspired by my post "Gone Rogue", I've started a second blog dedicated to the changes that we're making here at home. If its something that interests anyone, you can find it here.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
This is why I don't trust them.
This is why I don't blindly trust the government.
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Health/story?id=708780
State Secret: Thousands Secretly Sterilized
Beneath the surface of this Southern town, with its lush evergreens and winding riverbanks, is a largely forgotten legacy of pain, secrecy and human indignity. "My heart still bleeds, and it will forever bleed, because of what had happened to me," local resident Elaine Riddick said. Riddick was one of thousands of people secretly sterilized by the state between 1929 and 1974.From the early 1900s to the 1970s, some 65,000 men and women were sterilized in this country, many without their knowledge, as part of a government eugenics program to keep so-called undesirables from reproducing."The procedures that were done here were done to poor folks," said Steven Selden, professor at the University of Maryland. "They were thought to be poor because they had bad genes or bad inheritance, if you will. And so they would be the focus of the sterilization."
Sterilized Without Her Knowledge
Riddick was raped and became pregnant at the age of 13. Social workers labeled her promiscuous and too feeble-minded to ever be a responsible parent. So, after giving birth in 1968, Riddick was sterilized without being told. She learned the truth years later, when she married and tried to have more children."They took so much away from me," Riddick said. "They took away my spirit and my soul."North Carolina sterilized close to 8,000 women in hospitals across the state.Even though the practice ended more than 30 years ago, some say the time has come to make amends. North Carolina was one of the first states out of 33 that once practiced sterilization to offer an apology. State Rep. Larry Womble is crafting a bill to provide financial reparations.Some wonder where the state will get the money. "They say, 'Well, we can't afford it,' " said Womble, a Democrat. "Well, we cannot not afford it." Riddick went on to earn a college degree and raise the son she had at 14. He now is an engineering consultant."I thank you, God, for giving me my child," she said.
ABC News' Keith Garvin originally reported this story for "World News Tonight" on April 23, 2005.
I'm sorry, but you cannot tell me that a mere forty years later our government is completely on the up and up. I'm not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but when you take into consideration this article/topic plus the fact that we tested cures for syphilis on our own people and on prisoners after INFECTING them with the disease in the first place... (link and link) there will always be doubt in my mind. No one has my kids' best interest in mind more so than their father and I; certainly not a government that succumbs to the highest bidder.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Gone Rogue
Well, we're making the leap. We've changed our diets (I should say our lifestyle, really), and are switching to all natural foods with no preservatives. No more junk going into my kids' bellies. No more ammonia washed beef. No more chemicals where there shouldn't be chemicals. And that goes for more than just food.
Our children will no longer be receiving immunizations; at least not until Sean and I do the research. We're not going to just offer up our kids because we're told to. Give me convincing research as to WHY my kids will be better off vaccinated. No more nonsense, we are no longer "sheep" just following the herd.
We have been using cloth diapers for the better part of 6 months now, and have no intentions of switching back. Its better for Liam's skin, its better for the environment, and its better for our bank account. And no, I don't have any more time than any other mother out there (whether they work outside of the home or not). If you have the urge to imply that I sit on my ass all day, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Kay?
We are putting in our organic garden this spring. The produce that is available in stores (that doesn't cost an arm and a leg) is seriously lacking! Squishy when it should be firm, covered in wax, and very little flavor. I can only imagine that it is also seriously lacking in nutrients as well. Neither Sean or I believes in pesticides, and as long as we plant enough to allow the critters their share... no harm no foul.
I'm really looking forward to cutting our grocery bill down, to only getting the things that we can't make (eggs and milk especially, since I can't stand cattle and Sean hates chickens); and since we'd have so much less to buy we'd be able to purchase it at a whole foods market instead of the local Kroger or Food Lion. Truly organic foods are expensive and its sad.
I'm hoping that Jessica (King) ends up making different soaps, and perhaps she and I can institute some sort of trade (hint hint Jess) so that we can both benefit.
Anyway, I have homemade banana bread in the oven that needs attention. I'll definitely be keeping this updated.
Our children will no longer be receiving immunizations; at least not until Sean and I do the research. We're not going to just offer up our kids because we're told to. Give me convincing research as to WHY my kids will be better off vaccinated. No more nonsense, we are no longer "sheep" just following the herd.
We have been using cloth diapers for the better part of 6 months now, and have no intentions of switching back. Its better for Liam's skin, its better for the environment, and its better for our bank account. And no, I don't have any more time than any other mother out there (whether they work outside of the home or not). If you have the urge to imply that I sit on my ass all day, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Kay?
We are putting in our organic garden this spring. The produce that is available in stores (that doesn't cost an arm and a leg) is seriously lacking! Squishy when it should be firm, covered in wax, and very little flavor. I can only imagine that it is also seriously lacking in nutrients as well. Neither Sean or I believes in pesticides, and as long as we plant enough to allow the critters their share... no harm no foul.
I'm really looking forward to cutting our grocery bill down, to only getting the things that we can't make (eggs and milk especially, since I can't stand cattle and Sean hates chickens); and since we'd have so much less to buy we'd be able to purchase it at a whole foods market instead of the local Kroger or Food Lion. Truly organic foods are expensive and its sad.
I'm hoping that Jessica (King) ends up making different soaps, and perhaps she and I can institute some sort of trade (hint hint Jess) so that we can both benefit.
Anyway, I have homemade banana bread in the oven that needs attention. I'll definitely be keeping this updated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)