So bare with me.
Yesterday was a very emotionally frustrating day. I discovered a lot of things about myself and about the situations/environments that I put myself in.
First, I realized that my opinion is no longer needed or wanted in certain places, and thats fine. It really is. But I'm not going to stick around where I'm not wanted, and my work is no longer appreciated. Call it growing pains, but I'm over it. I'm not mad (seriously, not mad, upset, or anything), I just don't have time for walking on eggshells. I've invested too much, I've made a lot of friends (some for only a short time, others for life), but I'm done feeling like I have to watch my step. I don't answer to anyone but my God, and I'm done feeling like I'm going to get in trouble for trying to do my job. So I'm good. I'm done.
Second, we lost a couple of guys on Monday from ACB-1. I did not personally know them. Sean did. Not well, but he did know them. The reason this gets to me as much as it does, they died during a field exercise. Something that my husband has done many times. Somehow a water truck rolled, and 2 of them died, one is in the hospital. This whole thing has hit me like a ton of bricks. They don't have to be in the middle of the war for something to happen. Just being in training to go to war can do it. If its their time, I guess its their time.
What this made me realize is that nothing is as important as family. Not support sites, not tv shows, not computer games, not petty drama. I owe my husband and my children my full attention, effort, and energy. If that upsets someone, then so be it. My former boss (and at one time client) called it a BFO moment. "Blinding Flash of the Obvious". She even named her company that. She's a smart lady. Here's to you TB!
Lastly, I'm feeling torn in a million directions. I need to get back to CA to see my family. My kids need to see their grandparents. Even Sean says we need to go back for a visit. But how to do that and still save to buy a house? I feel like I have to choose; do whats in the best interest for my family in the long term, or satisfy this selfish need to see my parents. So now I get to save money like crazy, and hope that somehow its enough to do both. If not, I guess we wait another year for something. Its just really hard to choose.
Fundraise. Start a jar and put away $15 a paycheck. If you routinely get birthday or holiday money, put that away as well. Abigail gets anywhere between $5 and $10 a holiday (yes, every holiday, because her grandparents are obsessed with her) and she already has $400 in savings.. that's $134 a year, dude! Just in holiday cash! And there's not much saving required to buy a house with a VA loan if your credit is decent. We bought this place with no money down and got cash back even. If your credit isn't decent, work on that first. Pay off bills/credit cards, consolidate and lower debt where you can. You know me, I'm the money queen. If we can do it.. you can.
ReplyDeleteP.S: LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteLady, you can do both. I know this. I know it is important to you to buy a house---and you will achieve that goal. I also know like Janny said when you use the VA loan, life is so much simpler. You will be okay. I promise that, and you know I don't make promises I can't keep.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree family comes first and always will. You have a smart friend and I think I might snag her mantra.
Janny and Mel already said what I was going to say. You CAN do this especially when you put your mind to it. You are a strong, determined person when you have a goal in mind. Love you.
ReplyDeleteOkay everyone.. group hug for Laura. Make sure to smack you gum really loudly when we do. :D
ReplyDeletelol Janny. We're going to put away all of my paychecks and what we can from his. Hopefully we can get into a house with nothing down, but I'd rather be safe and have some cash set aside. We'll see what we can do...
ReplyDelete