2011 is a blank page

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.  ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Thats my inspiration for 2011. There's going to be mistakes, bad days, and falling back into old habits. Its only natural. But I refuse to not learn from my mistakes.
2011 I will break a 25 year old habit of not telling my mom that I love her. We always used the excuse that we knew and just never had to say it. Well, that just doesn't cut it anymore. I now realize how utterly silly it is, especially considering that when my dad passed away he and my mom had had an argument. Life is insanely short and unpredictable, and I don't want to leave this world (or have someone else leave this world) with any kind of doubt as to how I feel about them. Maye thats what 2010 set out to teach me?

I have lots of goals for the new year, most of them silly like losing the rest of this weight, staying organized, etc etc. I'm at peace with those goals, and I'm not going to stress. I'm not going to freak out when my house isn't spotless. I'm not dirty by any means, but I think spending quality time with my kids is more important than sparkling floors. I'm going to let go of old grudges against former friends and relatives. I'm going to step away from the computer more often. And the phone too. Send more snail mail instead of email. Perhaps take a picture every day.

Lastly, I'm hoping that we'll be able to drive up to Arlington to see my father's grave on New Years. What better a way to kick off the new year, new habits, and a new perspective on life; than visiting the past?

A true "blue" Christmas

I admit that I've been a tad bit depressed lately; what with it being Brigid's first Christmas, and our second Christmas away from my family. Its been a year and almost 2 months since we left, and the lack of deployment has been a double edged sword. On the one hand, having my best friend home with us instead of deployed is the greatest gift I've ever received. On the other, it meant delaying our trip back to CA for at least a few months. My heart breaks a little every time I think about my mom watching my kids grow up via pictures and sketchy Skype sessions. Every time I look at my daughter and think of all the emotions that my mom must have had while raising me, it makes me cry knowing that she hasn't even been able to meet Brigid. Hold her. Love on her. See those gorgeously sloppy baby grins.
I admit that having been sad, I take things way more personally than I probably should. Comments about pictures being blurry, or a little boy running around naked. Rationally I know that they are probably in jest, and nothing to take offense to; but it gets under my skin after a while. I don't say anything because of the above rationalization.
A third admission, is that I truly have an amazing husband who loves me and would do anything to protect me and make me happy. I was sad this morning, and he stood up for me. Not everyone can say the same about their spouse.

I am sad though, that the situation happened at all, and that in essence I ruined Christmas for my entire family. Mom, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I am truly sorry for this morning. I'm not sorry that Sean stood up for me, I'm sorry that he felt the need to. I hope that you, dad, and the kids were able to salvage some of your day.
I'm sorry for my family as well, for having to put up with me before and after this whole thing happened.
As for me, I'm done. Done with today, done with a lot of things.

I know these things for sure:
I love my husband (and he loves me back)
I love my kids (and they love me as long as I feed them ;-) )
I love my mom (and dad and sibs).

Peace.

3 recipes, 2 yumtastic and 1 to tweak

First, the yummy egg white quiche. Its from Better Homes and Garden's Breast Cancer cookbook, I just substituted 1 cup of egg whites for the eggs.

1 pie crust (I used Pillsbury ready made, 100 cals per 0.125 crust)
1 cup egg white (or 4 eggs for full fat/cal version)
1.5 cups milk
.25 cup sliced green onion
.25 tsp salt (oops, I forgot this one. Still turned out though)
0.125 tsp black pepper
Dash ground nutmeg
1.5 cups low fat cheese (cheddar, jack, etc)
1 tbsp flour

As quoted from cookbook:

Prepare and roll out pastry for single-crust pie. Line a 9" pie plate with pastry. Trim; crimp edge as desired. Line un-pricked pastry with a double thickness of foil. Bake in 450* oven for 8 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for 4-5 minutes more or until pastry is set and dry (yeah I forgot this step too; the second baking that is) Remove from oven and reduce heat to 325*

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl stir together eggs, milk, green onion, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. In a small bowl toss together the cheese and flour. Add to egg mixture; mix well.

Pour egg mixture into hot, baked pastry shell. Bake in the 325* oven for 40-45 minutes or until a knife inserted near center comes out clean. If necessary, cover edge of crust with foil prevent over-browning. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

Adrienne's Cheesecake Bars (as copied from ASA)

1/2 cup cold butter
1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker® oatmeal chocolate chip cookie mix
1 egg
2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla

Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom of 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray.
In large bowl, cut butter into cookie mix using fork or pasty blender. Stir in 1 egg until mixture is crumbly. Gently spoon 3 cups crumb mixture into pan; press into bottom of pan. Bake 15 minutes.
In small bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, 2 eggs and the vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Pour over cookie crust. Spoon remaining crumb mixture over cream cheese.
Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown and firm to the touch. Cool 30 minutes. Refrigerate at least 2 hours or until chilled. For bars, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows. Store covered in refrigerator.


(picture to follow)




Weight Watcher's Black Bean Mexican Style Casserole


This one came out a bit bland, and was really not a hit with my family. I topped it with sour cream and salsa, but it still needs (deserves) more of a kick.


Ingredients: 
1 spray olive oil cooking spray
2 lbs uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast
30 oz canned black beans (rinsed and drained)
3 cups fat free sour cream
2 cups shredded reduced fat mexican style cheese, divided
8 oz chopped green chilies
2 tsp cumin seeds (I used ground cumin, was all I had)
0.5 tsp black pepper
12 medium corn tortillas, cut into 2 inch strips
1 cup salsa 




Preheat oven to 350*, coat a lasagna pan with cooking spray (13x9 pan works just fine)
Place chicken in medium saucepan and fill with enough cold water just to cover chicken. Set pan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 10-15 minutes; drain. When chicken is cool enough to handle, cut into 1" pieces.
Transfer chicken to a large bowl and add beans, sour cream, 1 cup of shredded cheese, chilies, cumin, and pepper; mix well and set aside.
Arrange half of tortillas in bottom of prepared pan, overlapping pieces to cover surgace. Top tortillas with half of chicken mixture, layer with remaining tortillas and then top with remaining chicken mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cup of cheese.
Bake until filling is bubbly and cheese is melted, about 30 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before slicing into 12 pieces. Serve with salsa on the side.






***any tips to help this recipe out would be awesome!**

Nonsense

So many days of blog posts written in my head, but never put into type. Its probably going to be a bunch of nonsense (hence the title) so bear with me.
One post was going to be a tribute to the inventor of OxiClean. No joke, he or she is a house wife's best friend. Especially when said house wife has a toddler.
Sean and I were in the shower, Brigid was in her bouncy seat, and Liam was in his room with the baby gate across the door. Apparently, he had to poop. We get out of the shower and discover a neatly placed row of Liam logs on top of the baby gate. No I didn't get a picture. Gross.
At first I thought that was the extent of the nastiness, and all I had to do was lysol the gate. Not my luck! I found a giant ball of Liam poo buried under a pile of toys. Can I puke yet? Oh, and the kicker was the claw marks I found in the carpet where he had been trying to clean it up and instead ground it deeper into the carpet fibers.
OxiClean to the rescue!!! Stifling my gag reflex, I scrubbed that carpet with a scrub brush, OxiClean, and warm water. Looks brand new! The toys, yeah those were bleached. So gross, words cannot even do it justice.

Another post was going to be about my dear inlaws. Ok, one inlaw in particular. He had the audacity to call and leave us a voicemail saying that his car didn't run and that he had to figure something out by the next day or he'd lose his job (thus starting a chain of events that lead downhill for his marriage and his children). Come to find out, he lied. Not just a little lie either. His car works fine. His brothers had seen him driving it. He simply wanted a new one. Oh, and not just any new one, a $14,000 pick up. Sean talked to him, and he wanted us to co-sign on this truck. First of all, he was offered a car for free. It simply needed a head gasket ($500 fix). He didn't want that. He also didn't want a $6000 car, because he thinks that its just going to break. So the man child can't afford $500 to fix a free car, but seems to think that he can afford the down payment, monthly payment, and insurance on a $14000 vehicle. And he wants my husband's credit attached. I think not. The kicker, he tells another brother that no one loves him because they wouldn't give him money. Eff you too Shane. Love has nothing to do with money. Money that no one has to give.

Lets see, there was another one that was going to be posted.... oh yeah my new favorite tortellini recipe. I'll post that separately since it has a picture and all that. I'm really glad that my pumpkin muffin and granola bar recipes are such a hit. I feel accomplished :)
My last thought for this present moment? I'm practically giddy that we now have a treadmill at home. Yes its old. But it works, and I don't have to take the kids out in freezing temps (literally) to get my cardio in. No more excuses, just a fitter, healthier me. Woohoo!