Just flitting around

I'm still around, just neglectful =)

Things have been crazy these past few weeks, and its taken a bit but we're finally working into a schedule. Lexi hangs out with us M-F while her mom is in the police academy (which I must add is pretty freaking awesome), and her dad is AD. Its kind of a mad house at times, but really the second toddler doesn't add that much to the already hectic environment. Having her here also is a learning experience for Liam, he has to share (gasp!), he has to play nice (double gasp!), and he's learning social skills. Lexi is learning the same, but is also increasing her vocabulary. Win win?  I think so.
We'll also be starting preschool lessons when Lexi comes back from her visit with Grandma, and we've already started potty training. Liam needed a refresher course, and Lexi needed (needs) to learn to be comfortable around the toilet. Its slow going, but the tortoise won the race, not the rabbit.

Sean and I have been discussing our next and probably last baby. Having just turned 30, he doesn't want to be in his fifties when our kids graduate from highschool. That gives us 2 years from now to have our last. It really makes me sad, I know I'm not done, and I don't know that I'd be done after 3  kids either. We originally wanted 6, then decided on 4 after watching his mom struggle and not able to provide for her brood. My solution? Pray for twins. Seriously. Obviously whatever is meant to happen is what will happen; I most undoubtedly believe in a higher power, and am not arrogant enough to think that its all up to me. But... I can at least read through the old wive's tales and make sure that I do everything that I can to help things along. I know it sounds silly, and it does sound silly even in my head. But I think that if I were to go through a twin pregnancy after the two singles that I've already had... I'd be a lot more accepting of his wishes to stop.
I still have a bit of time, B is only 7 months tomorrow and I'm thinking that I'd like to enjoy this entire year without being pregnant. So deployment and all that willing, maybe we can start trying in January. We'll see. This is just me thinking again, and is very unofficial.
Off the baby subject, tax season has come again, and with the exception of one small student loan we are now debt free. The SL we're keeping open since a) its an incredibly low intrest rate, and b) its just been rehabilitated and he needs to show that he's reliable at paying it monthly. We still have to go back and ammend a couple years' taxes, but that should even out and not involve us paying or receiving anything. Which is 100% fine by me. I feel great knowing that we're in a better position to take care of our family. We're not rolling in dough by any stretch of the imagination, but our kids don't have to go without, we can hopefully buy a house this year, and I've got my fingers crossed for a trip to see my family. I can't wait for them to meet my princess and see how big our little boy has gotten. I miss them. They're crazy, obnoxious sometimes, but they're family and they mean a lot to me.
But before I start getting all sappy, I'm going to go vacuum and steam clean every stinking cloth surface in my home. 3 kids with snotty noses = slimey trails and germs e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Gross.

I'm over it.

Ok, I'm actually over a lot of things, but two really stand out.
I'm over this command. It makes me mad just thinking about them. Who cares if my husband is a coded welder? If he wanted to sit and weld all day he could have stayed on the ship. Or with the Seabees. They're just wasting their time and his, and flipping a huge middle finger to the kids and I for all that time spent apart. For no reason. And he got a P eval out of it, because he wasn't observed for damn near a year. Thanks RON2. I'm now counting down to shore duty. Jerks.

The other thing I'm over, is trying to rebuild a relationship in which I feel like I get put down quite often. I don't think this person means to do it, which kind of makes it worse? I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'm not even mad anymore. Sad kind of, because I thought we were getting somewhere positive again. I guess thats what happens when you grow up and move on. Maybe it makes it easier for them to deal with the way things are, by being snarky. Instant defense. Whatever. Enjoy your family. I've learned; I'm an afterthought. I should have expected it.

Catching Up

The whole wide world knows that yesterday was Liam's surgery. He had a meatotomy to correct meatal stenosis. Basically, the hole in his penis was closing up. Has been since his circumcision at birth. So I've been a giant mental wreck for longer than I realized, and had so much stress that most of it I wasn't even aware of. When it was all over yesterday, I seriously felt like the weight of the world had been lifted. I can't even really explain it!

So now, I'm enjoying life and playing catch up. I want to read my friends' blogs, I want to start writing letters again. I miss my passion for the written word.

I feel like I can focus again, on my workouts, on my kids, on living life and enjoying it. Who would have thought that such a little thing (his procedure being over) would have such a huge effect?

So many people sent prayers and positive thoughts yesterday and the day before; it might sound weird, but we definitely felt them. Liam was calm going in, I didn't freak out. Heck I think I shed one tear when I kissed him and handed him off to the nurse. Sean was able to take the day off and be there with us. I'm so glad he was there for both Liam and I.

 I really feel good again knowing that there isn't anything bad looming up. Other than deployment of course, but thats a whole other thing, and not exactly bad. That's just life.